I’ll admit my instinct was the same many had regarding Fred Phelps.

Phelps was a man who’s life had been dedicated to some of what I feel is the worst aspects of our society. Hatred, bigotry, hyperbolic gestures of condemnation. All in the name of worship for a figure that surely, and obviously would not condone such acts of grandiose social sadism.

Why not rejoice in one less mean person who forced his insane bastardization of a religion on those mourning the loss of their loved ones? For press. Sensational propaganda to spread what is, as I understand it, the good word? I am very tempted to make crass jokes and indeed celebrate this creep being dead. There is a healthy amount of non-morrisette brand irony there, and I’m aware.

I’m not religious. But if I were, phelps would bother me even more, him doing such damage to the image of those who do live by the words in the bible, that do praise the Lord, god, Jesus and the rest of the gang.

Perhaps if there were fewer people like Phelps in organized religion I might have found my way there. How many others don’t find solice in something that might work for them because the scene is dominated by crazy?

I know religion isn’t for me, but I also know it is GREAT for many, and that’s some of the greatest damage people like phelps do. They make sane people stay away from something that can be good for them.

What I’m really trying to say is: I’m glad he’s dead. In the rhetorical world it’d be hilarious to picket his funeral with signs that mocked his actions (things like ‘GOD HATES PHELPS’, having Elton John play, or etc) but in the simplest terms,we’d be just as bad as him.

As I said, I’m not religious, but if I look to the people in my life that are, I believe the most righteous of them might say, that the bible says we should forgive him.

I think that’s how we get our digs in. By just forgiving the sad, pathetic, shriveled pea of a man who lived with such hate in his heart that it made us hate him too.

If we were to have some mock protesting of the hurt he’s caused, I’d like to humbly submit that idea: one big, colorful sign that says, simply: WE FORGIVE YOU.




(Click here to read this letter on NatashaLeggero.com)

On New Years Eve I made what I thought was a harmless joke http://dailym.ai/1crNs71

Here is my response:

Well hello America!

It’s been a busy few days but rest assured, I have received all of your messages and have been busy…

Awesome. Plain and simple.

Source: natashaleggero

My Mom died Thursday November 21st, 2013.

I didn’t work the next day, and basically hid away at my girlfriends house over that weekend, making sure I didn’t do my stupid typical thing and cut myself off from those who love me. Instead, I was so lucky to have her and her kids around and I just sort of soaked it up. Then Monday came around. I took the day off work, and really, I was still hiding.

What would I normally do on a Monday?

I would head to SF and do stand-up at some open mics. A lot of the comics I would be around in those times are definitely what I would consider my friends, and I thought it might be good to be out, doing my normal thing, with friends. 

It was immediately harder than I thought. I wasn’t gonna go around telling everyone, but i was not myself, they could tell, and I felt disingenuous not saying something. All my comic friends were SUPER cool, kind, and downright sweet.

It felt good. but I couldn’t do things like I typically did. My mom was all I had on my mind. So I decided to just take advantage of having a free, open venue to talk about what was on my mind…ya know, like real comics might. 

But did I make it funny?

Maybe. A little. Who cares, though? I’m not so good that they’d miss my regular brand anyway. So I just talked about mom. My mom, for the record, was someone who loved to laugh and that much is evident in all of her children she passed on to us an ability to laugh in the face of some tough stuff. Laugh through the pain, and with it even. Take the hurt and make it funny.

I tried, mama. 

Below is roughly what I said:

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The incredible success of the Lena Dunham creation “GIRLS” cannot be denied. It’s loved,hated and lampooned and though it may not be for everyone, people are talking, and using words like “Brilliant”, “Breakthrough”, and “Suuriuslyee…” .

There’s a lot of money to be made in making shows tailored to the twenty-something self important, nothing-is-ever-good-enough crowd. You needn’t look any further than a farmers market to see that the audience this show is attracting is willing to fork out gratuitous amounts of cash for just about anything. Three Dollars for a bunch of Kale? Are you kidding me?

So vast is the success of the show that HBO execs are now scrambling to up the ante and sources that I just made up just now say they’ve immediately ordered spin-offs for the hit show. Here are a few of the possible contenders:

1. Cookin’ with Shosh - Each episode begins with perennial manic Shoshanna telling you all about her dreams, aspirations and things she noticed on the way to taping and a retelling of all of her favorite TV shows from the last week. She then plans out a six course meal and shows you how to cook it in the fastest easiest way possible, all the while explaining the process and what she thinks about it. This takes five minutes. The rest of each episode is her sitting on her bed hugging a feather & sequined pillow and listening to Beyonce songs and staring at her ceiling, saying “YES! YOU GO GIRL!”

2. Hannah and her Titshirts - It’s literally just a half hour of Lena Dunhams Boobs. Instagram shots, Short videos and slow motion bouncy, grainy films of the it-girls tits, all set to a soundtrack of ironic pop ballads, Arcade Fire, Toro Y Moi, Wilco and for some reason, a bunch of Manfred Mann.

3. werd: Hangin’ with a Black Dude - In response to the accusations that there were literally no black people on the show, Lena did the right thing…introduced a black character played by super hood ass Donald Glover (we presume Wayne Brady was unavailable) made him republican and got rid of him in two episodes. Diversity! In order to further make their point, Judd Apatow and Ms. Dunham have crafted a show that feels loose and comfortable. One part talk show, one part Racist stereotype, each episode pairs one hipster darling with a black dude for a one on one interview, unscripted interaction that feels genuine in the same way a man saying he likes Quinoa feels. The set is designed to look like a movie theater, with the co-hosts in a middle row and the audience all around them, facing a screen playing a loop of GIRLS episodes. 

 4. Whatever! Starring Marnie - Follow Marnie around the city as she takes in the local flavors and just judges the fuck out of people. A bit like Anthony Bourdaine but with a bitchy spoiled brat and NEVER EVER EATING. Regular features include: “Are you kidding me with that hat?” “Umm, okay, you go ahead and do that, then…” and the upclose and personal segment where we get to know Marnie and her guests better, “Here’s what’s wrong with you and how it negatively effects me in like, a major way”.

Of course, if you want to get more of the good stuff GIRLS has to offer, you need not wait, just go to a formerly sketchy area of any larger city, look for signs that say grass-fed, organic, or any shop name that ends in a period for no reason and you’ll see the true inspiration for this addictive serial: the most terrible people of the most recently grown up generation. Fer Shure. 


originally written for theimpersonals.com on 2/23/2013

Let me to start by telling you what someone once told me. She was a wise black woman I worked with back at my horrible old retail job (not to be confused with present day horrible retail job) and she always gave good advice. I can’t remember what she looked like, so now when I think about her, I picture Michele Obama, and it’s nice. You try it. Neat, huh? I’m going to tell you what she told me, and this I shall never forget:

You are a grown ass man. It’s time you act like it.

Get your crap together and show women, friends, parents and yourself that you can take decent care of the basics. According to Scientific research (asking my bros) you will spend more time this month on your car than your home. Sure, some cars get women, but the only way they stay and take off their clothes is if they aren’t worried there’s a poisonous spore infestation.

This article can also be quite helpful for newly divorced dads, so for once pay attention to someone other than your vaguely-Asian, way-too-young-for-you girlfriend’s texts, before you go and doing something really stupid like buy a white leather couch.

I’m too late, aren’t I?

Here’s some stuff I think you need:

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this was originally written and posted via Facebook on March 27, 2013.

When I was 20, my best friend Neil blew his brains out with his Step-Dad’s shot gun.

Earlier this month, another of my dearest friends stared into the ugly face of self termination, this time, however, it was his son. The son he chased across the country when his marriage ended and his ex uprooted and went to the other side of the US. The son I saw him bring into this world when we he was still a kid himself. In fact, that kid wasn’t even a toddler when Neil took the pussy way out. 

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